So the bible is starting to get juicy around the 27th chapter of Genesis. Isaac, son of Abraham, married to Rebekah (The quintessential Jewish mother…note the sarcasm.) Jacob and Esau, twins, were born to Rebekah and Isaac. But Jacob was clearly Rebekah's favorite, so much so that she decided to have Jacob dupe Esau with regard to his father's (Abraham) blessing.  This caused a grudge between Esau and Jacob. Jacob lied to have favor with his father. Esau vowed to kill Jacob. So Rebekah sent Jacob away for fear that Esau would kill him, Rebekah told Jacob to go to Laban and stay until Esau's anger became less and he forgot what Jacob had done to him…Yeah, right…that's going to happen...clearly these people are not Italian.

On his way Jacob has a revelation of sorts;

10Jacob departed from Beer-sheba and proceeded toward Haran. 11When he came upon a certain place,* he stopped there for the night, since the sun had already set. Taking one of the stones at the place, he put it under his head and lay down in that place. 12Then he had a dream: a stairway* rested on the ground, with its top reaching to the heavens; and God’s angels were going up and down on it.f 13And there was the LORD standing beside him and saying: I am the LORD, the God of Abraham your father and the God of Isaac; the land on which you are lying I will give to you and your descendants.g 14Your descendants will be like the dust of the earth, and through them you will spread to the west and the east, to the north and the south. In you and your descendants all the families of the earth will find blessing.h 15I am with you and will protect you wherever you go, and bring you back to this land. I will never leave you until I have done what I promised you.i j 31: 13; 35: 14-15 k 35: 6; 48: 3; Jos 18: 13; Jgs 1: 23; Hos 12: 5 16When Jacob awoke from his sleep, he said, “Truly, the LORD is
in this place and I did not know it!” 17He was afraid and said: “How awesome this place is! This is nothing else but the house of God, the gateway to heaven!” 18Early the next morning Jacob took the stone that he had put under his head, set it up as a sacred pillar,* and poured oil on top of it.j 19He named that place Bethel,* whereas the former name of the town had been Luz.k 20Jacob then made this vow:* “If God will be with me and protect me on this journey I am making and give me food to eat and clothes to wear, 21and I come back safely to my father’s house, the LORD will be my God. 22This stone that I have set up as a sacred pillar will be the house of God. Of everything you give me, I will return a tenth part to you without fail.

I posted this particular part of chapter 28 because it stood out to me. Reading this portion of the bible  seems like a very warped family tree. But this one portion spoke to me. As the bible should…and not everyone will get the same thing out of the bible. This part is right before Jacob encounters Rachel, the wife he truly loves. In this dream God tells Jacob that he will not leave him. Again, we see the forgiving God, even though one of his children has done wrong. Jacob comes to believe that where he stands is truly where the LORD is. He makes a vow to make the LORD his God if God protects him on his journey. This is something we do very often, bargaining…perhaps some will not see this as bargaining but that is how it struck me. I have done this many times in my life, even though I clearly know that God is not one to bargain with…but I still do it.

So I continue to read, realizing that there is so much more in Genesis than I ever really knew. I have tuned out so much over the years. Honestly, I have sat in the pews, I have written words of what I thought I knew. I have spent so many years in the classroom, thinking I knew it all. Clearly, I knew nothing. I just gave what I thought I needed to…mostly the bare minimum to get me through even when I write here, I feel like I have to hold back and write what I think others want to hear and see. I have such a difficult time not trying t be a theologian. I am letting go of the fact that this is my journey right now…mine alone! Those who choose to share it with me must bear with the changes that I go through on this journey. There may be times where I seem to be all over the place…but isn't that the reality of us? Isn't that who we truly are? Beings that constantly change…souls that continuously strive for something more?

"In those moments, O God, when my faith in you appears to be a dim light in a dark void, help to keep my eyes on the tiny flame in the dark abyss, believing (without knowing) that you will provide."

Abraham:  a man tested…I don't know if I could ever have this much faith. But that's the point…we are supposed to give it all. I know deep down this is the answer. I know that we are here on this earth and God has a plan. But there are days when I wonder if God's plan is just to inflict torture. There are those dark days where it feels as if God is so far away. We all go through times of doubt, times of fear and it is so difficult to hold on. Abraham was definitely tested…I do not think I would be able to consider sacrificing my own child, but Abraham was willing to do so and he was greatly rewarded. We all know there is a reward, but seriously, who among us really has the ability to be as faith filled as Abraham?

As I continue to read, I do notice a feeling of -The more things change the more they stay the same- thing going on. These goings on in Genesis happened so long ago but the family stuff seems to be very familiar to families now. The drama! Oh boy…the drama! Esau and Jacob could be a modern day story. Just change the clothes on Esau and Jacob, add a nice car, put Isaac in a nursing home and there you have it. The scene has changed but the deceit has remained the same. Humans are humans.

I figure God is still shaking his head...

The next few chapters speak of Abraham. Another covenant. It is clear that Genesis continues to give us constant reminders that God keeps his covenant with us but there must be respect and obedience for this covenant. This seems to be the thing that today’s society loves to ignore. Yes, there are many who sit in the pews, many that claim to be religious. But it seems that we have become a society who ignores the fact that in order to receive there must be some giving. In other words, to truly maintain the covenant one must live the way God wants. It is a difficult task. It is a day to day journey down a long road.

 When I read the stories in Genesis, I  am suddenly aware that humans have not really changed. When I was younger and learning the bible scriptures, I always imagined that the people I was reading about were these truly unbelievably religious folks. I am now reading with different eyes. As an adult I am seeing it in a different light. There was doubt in each person that God encountered. Sarah did not believe that she would indeed give birth, for she was so old. Abraham questioned God about destroying Sodom and Gomorrah, even questioning him about the sacrifice of those who were good. Even when God promised that he would spare the lives of the good – even if it were a small number – Abraham still questioned. Such a human thing . . . something I am only now realizing.

By the way, when I refer to the people who sit in the pews and act as if they know it all, I refer to myself as well. I spent so many years in Catholic school thinking I knew it all. So much of it was rote . . . the things the nuns wanted me to spit back at them. Then I entered Seton Hall University and my thinking changed again. We were taught to question God; we were taught to understand that not everything is so very clear about our faith. Believe me, my Irish Catholic mother did not like this period in my life. I did go through a phase where I questioned. I even questioned church and the hierarchy — ahem, I still do! It was all new to me . . . it seemed naughty and wrong . . . as a young woman, this was an exciting thing! I aced all my theology classes, because I knew how to write for each professor or doctor of theology. I knew what they wanted to hear, knew whether or not they wanted to bash the faith or stand up for it. I think that is where my bible study stopped. I figured I knew it all . . . what more did I need?

So I realized this past week that those I am reading about were just as human as all of us . . . and this makes the stories more understandable. I am not stuck like I was about the truth and history of the stories presented in Genesis. I see the humanness of it all . . . Lot’s wife looked back and she was turned into a pillar of salt: every day we are tempted to look back, for whatever the reason. Perhaps we long for what was, whether it was right or wrong. Perhaps we look back to try to understand what we did and why we did it. Perhaps it is, just quite simply, human nature.